Jacob
Liar, deceiver, heel grabber, supplanter, cheat, conman, thief, Jacob.
He was a twin, born holding his brothers heel. They named him Jacob, which literallly means “”Heel grabber,” or “Supplanter.”
The first recording we have of him living up to his name, he is trivking his twin into selling his birthright for a bowl of beans. Now I like beans too, but really? The birthright gave Esau the right to everything when his dad passed away. When Isaac passed, Esau would become the “ole bull.”
The second time, his mom sets it up for him to go in to his blind father. Pretending to be Esau, he would receive the ultimate gift from their father, The Blessing. The blessing was a powerful prayer that Hebrew fathers would pray over their firstborn son. This was something that Esau had been looking forward to, but now Jacob had done the unthinkable. Jacob had tricked his dad into giving him the blessing.
Jacob is now on the run. Esau is swearing out threats of death against Jacob. He had gone to far this time.
Jacob, never makes God, his God. There is always the promise that he will someday, but not right now. He has better things on his mnd.
After ironically getting tricked into marrying a woman he didn’t want to marry, he marries the girl of his dreams.
He becomes prosperous and decides it is time to leave his father-in-law’s land, where he had lived for many years.
First an altercation with the father-in-law, then he get the horrific, heart stopping news, that Esau is on his way with a small army. Jacob has a big family now, many servants, livestock, and riches. Now Jacob is the one with a lot to lose, and his brother has revenge on his mind.
In a panic he walks down to the rive, possibly to clear his mind, maybe to talk to God. Frustrated, he knew that it was his own stupid love for tricking people, and getting the better of people that had got him into this mess.
There he wrestles with a human form of God. This “man” tells Jacob to let him go, and Jacob replies, “Not until you bless me.”
“What is your name?” comes the odd response.
Now heres where it gets crazy. This is where something that was completely out of character for Jacob, just flies out of his mouth.
“Jacob”
Yeah his name, but more than that, an admission. All of his life he had to have hated his name. It correctly labeled him as a liar. It showed his character. Everytime he said his name he thought of all the times he had tricked people into doing what he wanted them to do. Every lie he had told took a scroll through his mind. Saying his name was an admission to who he was and what he had done. This moment of honesty was to change his life. But, not just his life, his name.
Genesis 32:28 (KJV) 28 And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed.
Whoa, from liar to prince? A prince with power?
This was too good to be true, it had to be. How in just a moment could everything just change like that? Everything would be different now. No more Jacob. No more being reminded of his past at every mention of his name.
But wait, how does the very next verse mention him? Jacob? I thought he wouldn’t be called that anymore? I thought his new name was Israel?
Yes the Bible goes on to refer to him as Jacob some 200 plus times, but it refers to him as Israel over one thousand times. Including calling the Hebrews the Children of Israel.
There will be some who still thiink of us as we used to be.
I was introduced to pornography at thee age of 11. This opened “pandora’s” box for me. It was soomething I ended up struggling with for years. It haunted me, made me feel like I was nothing but a pervert.
Jared the Perert.
This is how I thought of myself. “I can never actually do something for God because I am a pervert. I can’t beat this.” These kind of thoughts constantly ran through my mind. “You’ll never be anything.”
Finally, at 17 I had enough of the “Repent then do it again, repent then do it agian” routine and just quit repenting. I still went to church some and just kept myself busy at work. I lived like this for about 4 years, and was unbelievably miserable. I was doing things that I knew the Bible said God did not approve of and would cause me to be a “castaway.”
I felt helpless, like there was no hope for me. Doomed to live a life of shame. I was so ashamed of myself. I moved to Conway to be close to my Uncle Tim, hoping he could help me. He did. Prayed for me a lot, believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Showed me that I needed to repent again and make right choices.
God began to show me things. Repentance isn’t just apologizing. Repentance is radically changing my life. Ask for forgeivness after confession, and change things in my life to keep temptation away. I had to get rid of somethings, and hold myself accountable to someone. It was hard but when I truly repented, it changed. It became easy.
I still viewed myself as Jared the Pervert, for 5 more years.
5 years after God changed my life, I still viewed myself as a pervert. I was engaged to be married, I had confessed all my sin to my girlfriend, long before asking her to marry me, and we were engaged to be married. We were talkingon the phone one night and in frustration I called myself “Jared the Pervert.” Amber said, “Jared, you are not a pervert anymore, you have changed.”
“What am I then? I’ve always been Jared the Pervert, who am I? How do define myself?”
I was expressing this frustration to my pastor the next day, and he looked at me and said, “You are a such were.”
I looked at him in confusion and he quoted this verse. 1 Corinthians 6:11 (KJV)
And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
I am Jared the Such Were.
Jared the Washed.
Jared the Sanctified
Jared the Justified.
I am different I am new. There is something about falling in love with prayer and the Word. I found if I prayed and read my Bible EVERY day, I wouldn’t sin. I wouldn’t mess up. God would protect my mind.
How did I not let my dysfunction define me? “Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].” (Romans 12:2 AMP)
A renewed mind. Everything starts in the mind as a mind game. Satan attacks you in your mind. It has to be renewed daily. Thats what repentance is, a renewed mind. It has to be done everyday!!
Don’t let your dysfunction define you!
You can make it.
You can overcome.
Renewed mind.
If you have questions you can comment below, or email me at doranjared@gmail.com
jareddoran 